


tales of lonely boy

by tigerbox



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:23:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6080946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerbox/pseuds/tigerbox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a story of how kyu copes when siwon is off to the army. also known as how kyuhyun turns into a squatter, courtesy of an empty flat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tales of lonely boy

They were getting too old for this. Kyuhyun, at the ripe of age of 27 with the slightest of thin white hairs starting to poke through the crown of his head, knew he was too old for all of this sneaking around. And yet, there he was backstage, hidden behind a door-frame and smushed up against a wall with a picture frame splintering against his backside, a loose arm wrapped around Siwon for meager support. It wasn't clear who initiated it and Kyuhyun had an inclination that it wasn't his idea, but the idea remained as fuzzy as the gruff of Siwon's newly grown beard itching at the side of his neck. Siwon had bent down a bit to level their height difference and was nestled sweetly into the pool of sweat of Kyuhyun's neck and as intoxicatingly turned on as he was, the scruff was poky enough to make him push Siwon back with a resistant foot. Siwon tumbled back, nose wrinkled in confusion, the smallest glimmer of a pant as he caught his breath. He did the stop: look left look right. The coast was clear, most of the hustle and bustle taking course down the corridor backstage.

"What gives?"

"You need to shave." Kyuhyun placed a hand against his sweaty neck, feeling like the bristles of Siwon's coarse hair had somehow attached them upon himself permanently, a forever reminder. Siwon laughed, letting his tongue glide out and line his teeth, his hands resting on his hips in an expectant position.

"You said you liked it last time." despite his attempt not to, Kyuhyun felt his cheeks flush. He hated his own words being thrown back at him, this whole thing being thrown back in his face like it was his idea. Was it? It'd been years since they'd been like this and somehow those pesky habits had come to fruition once more, and now he had to deal with this. Siwon staring at him, with one cocked eyebrow, lithe fingers slowly unbuttoning the crisp white shirt he'd worn minutes before on stage, almost a transparent white so that the fangirls could see the outline of his muscular ribs through the stage lights. Kyuhyun could now see those muscles himself, the abundant lines of abdomen, the staunch and rock hard bones underneath a flat stomach. It shouldn't have surprised him that Siwon was making his way again towards him and Kyuhyun felt an index finger poke him in his flabbier tummy, straight back into the wiry picture frame from before. He winced at the pain and shut his eyes, ignoring Siwon saying something about trying it different until he opened his eyes again and realized that Siwon was talking from below. Two familiar dimples were shining up at him tugging at the loops of his performance belt and Kyuhyun knew his cheeks were flushed again.

 

And then before he knew it, Siwon was gone in the army.

 

"Keep in touch," is all Kyuhyun muttered to Siwon at the goodbye ceremony. He'd gone for Changmin, really, he convinced himself. He hugged Changmin first, then Siwon in an orderly manner, expecting Siwon to maybe tear up a little or whisper something dirty in his ear that was to keep him desperate for the next two years. But nothing. Siwon leaned back after the hug, gave Kyuhyun a friendly pat on his back and put his hood up, retreating to the other soldiers. Kyuhyun didn't stop staring at the backs of Changmin and Siwon like a laser until they disappeared from eyesight.

 

He felt fine, really. He convinced himself this everyday. And he was mostly. From schedule to schedule he didn't have time to think of their last minute whirlwind rendezvous that lasted all of five weeks before it abruptly ended when Siwon left. Kyuhyun was too busy for that, too busy to decipher what the meaning of all that was except that they were both bored and needed something to do for a relief for a month or so.

Kyuhyun was fine. Except that he had found the scrawled up note Siwon had left him. It was in the back of one of his khaki pants, crumpled up and barely legible. He didn't remember Siwon handing it to him, figuring Siwon had put it there in one of their besotted trysts when Kyuhyun had been otherwise engaged. It was Siwon's handwriting alright, the sloppy figures trying to be deceptively neat and failing entirely. And all it ended up being was a bunch of numbers. _5-16-88-02-3._ Kyuhyun had no idea what it meant and he almost shucked it, going back to doing the rest of his laundry.

And then he remembered. His weaker arms struggling to keep Siwon afloat, a long hallway, the heavy cologne of Siwon wrapped all around him almost invigoratingly so.

"Kyuhyun-ah," Siwon was whispering seductively, so drunk his words rolled off the floor. Kyuhyun could barely answer, Siwon's heels clunking against the wooden ground, his fingers curling into the sides of Kyuhyun for support and desire all the same. "Kyuhyun-ah," Siwon kept murmuring as Kyuhyun could barely keep them up, "Fuck me."

"Okay if that's what you really want," Kyuhyun vaguely remembered saying, anything to get Siwon to cooperate, "But you gotta get the code key to your place to open up first."

And so Siwon unwrapped a hand quickly off of Kyuhyun and eagerly on to the keypad: 5-16-88-02-3.

"A promise is a promise Kyuhyun."

 

The apartment still smelled the same as the last time he'd been there. Cleaner than clean, there'd been not a single trace of human existence in it. Kyuhyun assumed Siwon had hired someone to keep it orderly in his absence. It carried a mixture of ammonia and antibacterial traces, but also the faint hint of Siwon's favorite cologne: Drake Noir III. Classy, manly, handsome, a signature scent that would last for ages. Kyuhyun balked in distaste at Siwon's simplistic manners, heading straight for his bedroom and into his medicine cabinet.

And there it was. Kyuhyun grabbed it, contemplated smashing the cologne bottle onto the ground for good measure, but he couldn't do it. He thought about the poor service maid who would come later in the week who would have to clean it up, about the security guards coming in and snooping around trying to figure out how someone broke in without breaking a door, how Siwon would react when he would get that inevitable phone call that his place wasn't safe and that although nothing was stolen he should never go home again.

So Kyuhyun opened the cap, and dipped a pinky inside, letting two drops fall onto the paleness of his pink skin, tapping it on his wrist and neck for good luck. The smell wasn't bad, he had to admit. It was totally overpowering, but it did make him feel a bit more refined and regal, somehow.

Then there was the bath robe. Just standing there. Propped up against the door, totally fluffy and lonely, waiting to be used. It would have been a disservice to ignore and not admire its fine craftsmanship. Before Kyuhyun knew it, he had slinked out of his stuffy old clothes, dumping them in a pile on Siwon's bathroom floor and slipped into the robe, cuddling up to its plush like material resting on his jawline.

This was how it started.

 

Most days after his schedules finished, at five or three am in the morning, he found himself driving towards that part of the town, the part with a fully stocked fridge and fancy linens and a flat screen television and different types of salts for bubble baths, one for every day of the week. It was like a private resort, with no pesky check-ins needed and no managers around to hassle him to death about how to live. He had his own place of course, not far from there, and it wasn't exactly like he was suffering in some endless debt of his own, but Siwon was just so much better at living in clean lines of luxury than he ever could. So, obviously he had to enjoy it.

It took Kyuyhyun another 3 weeks to come across Siwon's secret stash of chocolates. It was no secret per-say that Siwon had a sweet tooth, spiking his daily coffee with copious amounts of sugar and always asking for vanilla ice cream at the end of any concert. He'd even bought Siwon candy anytime he'd travel abroad, proudly handing Siwon a box of the finest Swiss truffles coming home from shooting his music video, only to be received back with an elated hug, so expressive Kyuhyun's feet had come off the floor in the landing of the hug.

Kyuhyun plowed through the boxes of chocolates hidden in Siwon's back pantry. All of them; the imported truffles, Godiva chocolates, melted Mexican chocolate mixes, the Swiss ones he had bought himself, the holiday assortments, the fanpacks of colorful Willy Wonka pixie sticks in a variety of flavors. He'd taken the boxes and sat on Siwon's bed devouring each and every one of them until only the wrappers remained in a crumpled tower surrounding him, bits of escaping chocolate drooling down the sides of his chin. Kyuhyun didn't know what he was expecting. Maybe the stern reminder through Changmin's voice of reasoning telling him that this was all wrong and he needed to stop. But he did so anyway. He felt his stomach turn, uneasy and unable to digest all the artificial factors swimming through. He swiped at all the boxes, looking for a clean spot to lay down, noticing an unopened box flipping open at the swat of his hand as it found its way on the floor. He crawled over to the side of the bed and peeked down below, immediately reaching down and bringing the box back up again for a better look.

The unmarked box was full of mementos of Kyuhyun. A friendship bracelet. His two albums. A formal thank you card. Not chocolate. Pictures of Kyuhyun, fantaken, selcas, official photoshoots, photos of Kyuhyun that Siwon had taken himself. Candid ones, ones of them together, where Siwon was smiling in full force, chin wide and teeth gleaming, Kyuhyun looking reluctant at his side, barely faking a smile, refusing to look at the lens. There were tons of them like these, most of which Kyuhyun could hardly remember taking, couldn't even remember from what event or what year they had been taken at. He dug through the photos, investigating them one by one, feeling selfish for wanting something more. He didn't know what though. A photo of them looking like they equally enjoyed each others company perhaps? A rare photo where Kyuhyun wasn't sulking, something he could steal and frame? A picture where they were engaged in some sort of casual skinship, a general arm around the shoulder, a friendly kiss on the cheek for a dare. Kyuhyun never remembered taking a photo like that though.

They didn't exist.

 

Finally he flipped the box upside down in a bit of rage. He imagined Siwon eventually coming home, years from now, looking through the very box, flabbergasted at its meticulous organization somehow disappearing all by itself, the photos he'd organized in a chronological order coming undone with no explanation. Must have been the ghosts, he'd figure and then pray some more.

Kyuhyun found it. The letter. Its unmarked envelope, the same familiar scrawl as the numbers on the note from his back pocket. Siwon.

It wasn't addressed to anyone in particular, but Kyuhyun beamed immediately, knowing it was him, wiping a bit of the chocolate drool off his chin before continuing to pry.

_i don't know how to say this. it goes against every fiber of my core. at least the one i grew up ~~knowing.~~_  
_i guess what i'm trying to say is that ~~i like you.~~_  
_i'm sorry for all those years ago that i was the one that came on to you, backstage, insisting i was drunk._  
_i'd broken up with her, you remember her. that one. i was a mess. i didn't get the role in the drama i wanted. and you were there for me. kept being there for me._  
_it was so easy._  
_i convinced myself i was doing it because i knew how to manipulate you._  
~~_truth was, i kept hooking up with you because i had feelings._ ~~  
~~_i'm also sorry that i'm the one who broke it up and didn't give you a reason._ ~~  
_i'm sorry that i'm the one, years later who started it up again by drinking around you, knowing you would take the bullet._  
_how's your wine intake lately, kyuhyun-ah._  
_i knew you would think it was your idea to start hooking up again._  
_it was mine._  
_sorry._  
_i'm sorry i used you._  
~~_i really really really like you._ ~~  
_let's stay friends._  
_but accept my apology first._

Kyuhyun couldn't stop reading the crossed out parts over and over, unable to analyze the meaning either way, like it would somehow make the letter anymore forgivable. Kyuhyun thought about it. All their secret hookups, all their secret trysts. Backstage, closet rooms, technical windows, hotel bathrooms and spa hot tubs. All of which where one of them was overwhelmingly drunk, inebriated, too toxic to make a wise decision. But Kyuhyun barely got drunk, a master of holding his liquor. So wouldn't that mean it was Siwon that he was taking advantage of? Kyuhyun frowned, debated ripping the letter in two, fondly remembering how the cologne bottle in the bathroom was still intact.

So of course, his phone started to buzz. An unlisted number, a video call. Kyuhyun hesitated to answer, wiping the last bits of chocolate off his face in mild curiosity.

And then he pressed the wrong button.

 

Siwon's face exploded on screen, high cheekbones taking the spread of the screen. It looked almost hilarious, how zoomed he was, how close he must have been standing to the screen. Kyuhyun could see every last hair up his nostrils.

"Your number didn't pop up."

"We have to borrow the phones here to make a call." Siwon looked older and younger at the same time weirdly, mostly because he was clean shaven now and yet his new military experience had aged him, a lack of weekly botox shots unable to hide the fatigue around his crow's feet.

"Is it like prison? Am I your one and only call for the week?" Kyuhyun tried to sound unaffected but his toes were curling between the sheets. "I'm flattered."

"Something like that...hey you're in my room?"

Shit. Video call meant Siwon could see Kyuhyun just as well as Kyuhyun could see Siwon. Kyuhyun attempted to put a lame arm behind his hair, covering the back of Siwon's distinctive headboard from view.

"No, no. Just a hotel that looks just like it. Weird huh?"

"Hey, I can see the photo of my parents on the nightstand behind you. Can you zoom in on it? I miss that picture."

"I just came here to drop something off. Your fangirls keep leaving stuff at the office."

"Okay. Are you going to zoom in or not?"

Sheepishly, Kyuhyun grabbed the phone careful not to get the mess of the letter, photos and chocolate wrappers in the frame. He shifted the focus from the phone off him and on to the photo like Siwon requested, unsure of how much he should zoom in.

"That's enough Kyuhyun. your hand is shaky and you're focusing too much on my dad's wig."

"Try fixing the zoom on your side, then. Your nose hairs need a trim."

Siwon quickly adjusted the zoom lens on his side of the call, matting his short hair down and Kyuhyun caught himself mirroring Siwon's actions, slicking back the craziness of his own sweat infested hairline.

"So."

"How you've been?"

"Great I guess."

"Me too. Army's fine, thanks for asking."

"How many push-ups do they make you do daily?"

Siwon wrinkled his nose. Kyuhyun could tell he wanted to punch him through the screen. Instinct of being the bratty one. "A lot."

"Your arms look good."

It came out like word vomit and it probably shouldn't have fazed Siwon but Kyuhyun registered those two dimples appearing and then disappearing just as quickly. Still it was there and he liked it. Siwon blanked a fake cough. "Thanks, Kyuhyun."

"So why'd you call me?"

"Bored I guess. It gets lonely here."

 _Here too._ Kyuhyun looked at the phone sadly. He missed those thick eyebrows in the limelight, the sorrow of those eyes hiding behind the call. but mostly he just wanted to scream, _why'd you never send me the letter fool._

"I've got to go. Busy day with the members. We're always just so fucking busy these days you know?"

"Yeah. Sure."

Kyuhyun yawned, making sure to get his mouth large and wide enough for it to look believable, way too eager to end the call before it got anymore awkward.

"See you when I see you, Kyuhyun." There was something melancholy about the way Siwon said Kyuhyun's name the last time but Kyuhyun tried not to dwell on it so much. A chocolate wrapper had stuck itself onto one of his wrists leaving a stain of coconut and praline along his skin and he wondered if Siwon had noticed.

 

For all the candy shops littering the streets of Hongdae there was sorely a lack of shops that carried the same candies Kyuhyun had gobbled down. Replacing them all wasn't easy and Kyuhyun had to settle on buying half the shelf space of a Hello Kitty store that specialized in pink truffles just to make up for the weight of the empty pantry at Siwon's place.

He arranged them the best he could at first, only giving up when the chocolate arrangement looked way more pink than what they originally looked like. "Fuck this," he said pouring the rest of them on top. Siwon would never be able to tell the difference. The letter was somehow peeking out past the pantry inside the bedroom under the bed calling Kyuhyun's name. He reluctantly followed the voice of the letter, reading it again and again. It was addressed to him so that meant it was technically his property right? Not Siwon's. He probably had the right to take it home. He clipped it under his sweatshirt pocket, gripping it so hard with his hand he could feel his palms sweating all over the envelope. Shit.

He took the letter out and put it back in the box. It'd be safer there anyway. Not that he cared.

He found his way into the bathroom, past the fluffy robe and next to the bottle of lavender sea salts. He figured this was the equivalent of not taking the letter home. Same thing, really.

 

He had his eyes closed over twenty minutes, bubble bath up to his chin with the rose petals swirling when the front door slammed open and then shut, bathroom door following suit.

"Kyuhyun?"

Kyuhyun took an ear bud out of his left ear. Sinatra would have to wait.

"Whoa. Siwon. what are you doing here?" There Siwon was, hovering over him in the flesh, looking down at him quizzically while he was in the literal flesh.

"I could ask you the same."

"Oh. The water's shut off at my place?"

"Right." Siwon stared at Kyuhyun harder, at his measly pecs, the scars beneath the water, his bookish legs hidden by fragrant petals and then some. Kyuhyun tried to cover himself up, carefully arranging some of the petals around the better parts of himself, both of them way too aware that he was naked.

"Well I guess I'm done with this bath."

"It's fine, whatever. I just came for a few things."

"They let you do that?"

Siwon looked hurt, scratching his jaw. It must have been weird without all the scruff.

"You never listened to me when I talked to you, did you? We get monthly leaves. I told you I'd be home one weekend every month. Just can't broadcast it all over social media."

"Yeah, right. I remember now." Kyuhyun didn't remember that at all actually, but he waved his hand dismissively. "Could you close your eyes or something?" he gripped the side of the claw tub, wet hands slipping stupidly. Siwon didn't close his eyes as requested, watching Kyuhyun with a blank stare, handing him his very own fluffy robe as Kyuhyun sheepishly got out, dripping water all over Siwon's pretty tiles.

"I can get this dry cleaned."

"Don't worry. My people have been taking care of it weekly since I've been gone. I've got this place all wired up you know. Sasaengs and all that. Can never be too careful."

Well, there goes his cover. Kyuhyun wagged his hair a little, water splashing rudely against Siwon's face. "Shit, hyung."

"Do you want to go get a drink?"

 

The bar wasn't exactly Kyuhyun's taste, sitting in the basement of some five star hotel, the only people accompanying them seventy year old businessmen in beige suits. Siwon seemed more relaxed though, resting his arms on the bar, forearm curved around a large pint of something or other. Kyuhyun felt weird. His hair was still a little damp and his shirt was sticking to his body because he had been too scared to really dry himself off on one of Siwon's towels earlier, at least not with Siwon inspecting his every breath.

Kyuhyun nursed another beer, then another one. It was no use though, he knew he could do this all night and he'd barely feel a thing, except a glaze over his eyes and an insatiable desire to eat something fried.

"You should try pot. They pass it around under the bunks at night in the army. Makes you feel something for sure," Siwon raised an eyebrow, all too aware of Kyuhyun's inability to get drunk. It was working the opposite on him however, his forearms getting less tense, his perfect posture hunching just a little. He wasn't drunk yet, but he was getting there. Or at least he wanted to.

Siwon leaned over, motioning to the bartender to get Kyuhyun another drink. The clear shot he had in front of him wasn't enough. "I love the anonymity of this place. Been coming here for years, under the radar. Not an idol's spot."

"Yeah," Kyuhyun agreed, distracted by Siwon's finger finding its way around his watch, tracing the hairs flatlined underneath. It was tickling him but unraveling something inside him at the same time and he needed to try his best to ignore it. He tried by switching his drinking hand, taking the next shot with his watch hand, letting Siwon's hand fall lamely back on to the counter below as Kyuhyun kept his own up with his empty glass by his mouth for far too long.

Kyuhyun took another three shots of the hardest liquor the bartender would offer and barely saw any difference. There was still only one Siwon in front of him, the mopey one, the one with an altruistic grin showing up, top collar unbuttoned, cowboy boots clicking under the high stool. Kyuhyun thought of the letter again. Whose idea was it? The one who knew how to get drunk that did the seducing or the one who was almost fully conscious pretty much all the time? Siwon was looking at him, eyes practically drooping. He was asking the bartender with spectacular boobs under a low cut shirt for another shot of vodka.

"Am I drunk enough yet?" he turned to Kyuhyun and asked, words so slurred that Kyuhyun had to wonder if it was done on purpose. Siwon unbuttoned another button on his own shirt.

"I guess that's the cue."

 

"Have you slept with anyone since I left?" Siwon asked, eyes shut tight. He'd kicked his shoes off in the back of taxicab and the taxi driver was resentfully watching them through the rear mirror. "Any girls I mean. Hot ones."

"Not really no." Kyuhyun's cheeks flushed at the question, but Siwon was barely paying attention, eyes closed in his own thoughts.

"It's been so long for me, Kyuhyun. I miss it all. The smell of them, how soft they are. How good it feels. Their round tits. Fuck, breasts."

Siwon started to slip a hand under his own jeans, an eager attempt of unzipping them with his eyes still closed. Kyuhyun reached over and shoved Siwon's hand back out keeping a firm hold around it, never losing eye contact with the taxi driver who was slowing down, forehead reddening.

"Hey, no jacking off in the backseat there!"

"Uh, hyung. Maybe you want to wait until we're back inside?"

 

Frankly speaking, Siwon was too heavy to push in the bedroom. That, and Kyuhyun sort of didn't want to go in there. Letter under the bed and all. Siwon hunched himself unattractively on the sofa, hugging an unsuspecting throw pillow.

"So? You said when we were back inside, Kyuhyun."

"Not really what I meant exactly."

"Fine then," Siwon slurred, taking his hand and shoving it down his jeans again with no hesitation. Kyuhyun groaned because he really didn't need to witness this twice, hot or not. He leaped over the sofa rest, gallivanting his way to Siwon and slapped his hand away from himself the second time that night.

"Let's not."

Siwon merely looked up at Kyuhyun in defeat, bringing him close, hands suddenly placed on either side of Kyuhyun's hip in an awkward non-straddle, leg kicked up under and between the sofa. Even with the layers of clothing, Siwon's hands radiated warmth on his body, familiar. Siwon was pouting almost, lost in thoughts, slowly making a trail down the lines of Kyuhyun's legs.

"You're softer than any girl I'd ever known. Masculine but soft. A true treasure."

Kyuhyun scoffed, fighting back a laugh. Siwon always had a penchant for saying the cheesiest things in lieu of romance.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Siwon continued the trail up and down Kyuhyun's legs, finally placing a chokehold on one of Kyuhyun's knees, knocking him over accidentally so that half of Kyuhyun was unbalanced on his lap, the other half still struggling to stand. "I'm never as drunk as I pretend to be. Our relationship's always been pretty sober, in fact."

Kyuhyun wondered if it was true, with Siwon's eyes hooded, warm hands massaging his knobbly knees, husky breath placing an air kiss on the cusp of Kyuhyun's clothed shoulder. Truthfully, he couldn't tell what was a lie or not and it was driving him crazy. Out of character, he ruffled a hand into Siwon's hair, the short strands not much to hold and finger through. He wouldn't do that if he was the sober one, he convinced himself. Siwon gave him a look, the distinct one, the one that Kyuhyun used to know so well. Five weeks of it, five weeks of lingering stares, after years of a convoluted friendship. Siwon pulled him down, tugging at his sweater pocket into a chaste kiss, lips tight, brief but present. Their noses knocked afterwards and they held the position for a moment before Kyuhyun retreated backwards a little, memory out of alignment.

"You're lying." Kyuhyun insisted.

Siwon laughed lazily as if that explained everything, throwing his head back on to the sofa. Kyuhyun could see the fine line of Siwon's Adam apple from that view, the way it moved heartily in his throat with every rivet of his laugh. Siwon threw his hand back into his own jeans again with force, finally unzipping and bringing his heavy bulge to form full front and center with a guttural groan. He didn't hesitate to start, only looking back at Kyuhyun with an expectant gaze as Kyuhyun could only look on with a listless expression.

"So are you going to join me or not?"

 

Siwon was gone by the time it hit noon the next day. Sun blinded them in the morning, peeking through the blinds before either of them could utter the word breakfast. Kyuhyun's arm was wrapped around Siwon's bare waist, again out of character. Kyuhyun rubbed his mouth, checking himself for any sleeping saliva. Siwon was still sound asleep, soft snores, thick stomach muscles contracting in and out with every breath. Kyuhyun watched him sleep for a while, not really feeling creepy about it, just wanting to remember the moment before it was over. Siwon looked peaceful like that, hair not meticulously gelled back, not putting on a facade for Kyuhyun, no silly love me love me not games. Just a pure Siwon, authentic.

Kyuhyun sat up, not getting out of the bed but instead bending under it, grabbing the box of memories. He swept the letter up in expert motion, knowing exactly where he left it, thumbing the edge of the envelope over and over. Feeling secure over the sound of Siwon's snores, Kyuhyun reached over to the nightstand on his side of the bed and grabbed a pen, biting the cap in his mouth, contemplating what to write. I love you? No, that was way too sincere, even for him. He took the pen to the front of the envelope after finally settling on something.

"You're an idiot. -K."

Siwon woke up not too long after Kyuhyun stuck the envelope on his forehead with scotch tape. Kyuhyun had placed an arm back around Siwon's, clamoring back under the sheets, pretending to be asleep until Siwon finally came to, hungover and confused as to why he was still seeing black. Siwon chuckled when he finally read the add on, kissing the envelope and then shoving it into the air until it fell somewhere around their toes like it was meaningless to gravity.

"I was wondering when you'd find that."

"Are you saying that you purposely left that there for me to find?"

"I left everything for you to find. You're the idiot, Kyuhyun."

"Oh." Kyuhyun thought about it, fingers pulsating on Siwon's bare skin, breaths becoming more shallow the more awake he became. He really was the idiot. "Even the chocolates?"

"Especially the chocolates. I'm more of an ice cream man personally."

"So," Kyuhyun said after a while, after they cuddled some more, Siwon's lips pinning themselves against Kyuhyun's ear with sweet little kisses, making sure Kyuhyun remembered what he says or doesn't say this time, "Let's talk about how sober you were last night."

 

Pretty soon, it was Kyuhyun's time to embark in the army.

Six months later, they leave the apartment behind, Kyuhyun finding a place under his camouflaged hat and cropped hair between Siwon and Changmin's platoons. He carried the note around in his pocket, not the lengthy one, full of crossed mistakes and mistaken love admissions. No, he kept the other one, the shorter one all crumpled up, only taking it out when it was safe and Siwon was nowhere around to see him reading it over and over: 5-16-88-02-3.

Siwon snuck into his bunk sometimes, late at night when it was safe, reminiscent of the old times, behind concert curtains and backstage lights. "Are we too old for this? All this sneaking around Kyuhyun?"

"Sometimes things feel better when it's just a tryst," Kyuhyun concluded, inhaling the familiar scent of Drake Noir III before falling asleep, knowing this was anything but a tryst. His fingers were still clutched around the note under the pillow, discreetly poking at the backside of Siwon's head while he attempted to sleep. Ah, true love.


End file.
